2011年9月27日星期二

smartphone dual chipEmmett and the others were on their way

Emmett and the others were on their way, but he’d described my strange behaviorto them, and they were walking slowly, watching me, trying to decipher what I wasdoing.
I watched the girl in my rearview mirror. She glowered toward the back of mycar without meeting my gaze, looking as if she wished she were driving a tank rather thana rusted Chevy.<a href="http://www.1buycart.com">smartphone dual chip</a>
Tyler hurried to his car and got in line behind her, grateful for my inexplicablebehavior. He waved at her, trying to catch her attention, but she didn’t notice. He waiteda moment, and then left his car, sauntering up to her passenger side window. He tappedon the glass.
She jumped, and then stared at him in confusion. After a second, she rolled thewindow down manually, seeming to have some trouble with it.
“I’m sorry, Tyler,” she said, her voice irritated. “I’m stuck behind Cullen.”
She said my surname in a hard voice—she was still angry with me.
“Oh, I know,” Tyler said, undeterred by her mood. “I just wanted to ask yousomething while we’re trapped here.”
His grin was cocky.

smartphone dual chipTyler was behind me

Tyler was behind me, almost running in his hurry to catch her before she coulddrive away. He was bolder and more confident than the other two; he’d only waited toapproach Bella this long because he’d respected Mike’s prior claim.
I wanted him to succeed in catching her for two reasons. If—as I was beginningto suspect—all this attention was annoying to Bella, I wanted to enjoy watching herreaction. But, if it was not—if Tyler’s invitation was the one she’d been hoping for—then I wanted to know that, too.
I measured Tyler Crowley as a rival, knowing it was wrong to do so. He seemedtediously average and unremarkable to me, but what did I know of Bella’s preferences?<a href="http://www.1buycart.com">smartphone dual chip</a>
Maybe she liked average boys…I winced at that thought. I could never be an average boy. How foolish it was toset myself up as a rival for her affections. How could she ever care for someone whowas, by any estimation, a monster?
She was too good for a monster.
I ought to have let her escape, but my inexcusable curiosity kept me from doingwhat was right. Again. But what if Tyler missed his chance now, only to contact her.&nbsp;&nbsp; later when I would have no way of knowing the outcome? I pulled my Volvo out into thenarrow lane, blocking her exit.

android 2.2 phonesThis pitiable boy did not irritate me

&nbsp; This pitiable boy did not irritate me as much as Mike Newton did, but I couldn’tfind it in myself to feel sympathy for his angst until after Bella had answered him in agentle voice.
“Thank you for asking me, but I’m going to be in Seattle that day.”
He’d already heard this; still, it was a disappointment.
“Oh,” he mumbled, barely daring to raise his eyes to the level of her nose.
“Maybe next time.”
“Sure,” she agreed. Then she bit down on her lip, as if she regretted leaving him aloophole. I liked that.
Eric slumped forward and walked away, headed in the wrong direction from hiscar, his only thought escape.<a href="http://www.1buycart.com">android 2.2 phones</a>

I passed her in that moment, and heard her sigh of relief. I laughed.
She whirled at the sound, but I stared straight ahead, trying to keep my lips fromtwitching in amusement.

android 2.2 phonesI watched her body stiffen

I watched her body stiffen when she caught sight of the boy waiting for her. Shefroze for a moment, then relaxed and moved forward.
“Hi, Eric,” I heard her call in a friendly voice.
I was abruptly and unexpectedly anxious. What if this gangly teen with hisunhealthy skin was somehow pleasing to her?
Eric swallowed loudly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Hi, Bella.”
She seemed unconscious of his nervousness.
“What’s up?” she asked, unlocking her truck without looking at his frightenedexpression.
“Uh, I was just wondering…if you would go to the spring dance with me?” Hisvoice broke.
She finally looked up. Was she taken aback, or pleased? Eric couldn’t meet hergaze, so I couldn’t see her face in his mind.<a href="http://www.1buycart.com">android 2.2 phones</a>
“I thought it was girl’s choice,” she said, sounding flustered.
“Well, yeah,” he agreed wretchedly.

android 2.2 phonesBut I didn’t have long to ponder

But I didn’t have long to ponder. Sensitive as I always was to thoughts about thegirl, the sound of Bella’s name in the heads of…of my rivals, I suppose I had to admit,caught my attention. Eric and Tyler, having heard—with much satisfaction—of Mike’sfailure, were preparing to make their moves.
Eric was already in place, positioned against her truck where she could not avoidhim. Tyler’s class was being held late to receive an assignment, and he was in adesperate hurry to catch her before she escaped.
This I had to see.<a href="http://www.1buycart.com">android 2.2 phones</a>
“Wait for the others here, all right?” I murmured to Emmett.
He eyed me suspiciously, but then shrugged and nodded.
Kid’s lost his mind, he thought, amused by my odd request.
I saw Bella on her way out of the gym, and I waited where she would not see mefor her to pass. As she got closer to Eric’s ambush, I strode forward, setting my pace sothat I would walk by at the right moment.

2011年9月24日星期六

keeps the smile on her face

keeps the smile on her face, but hardly moves. There's a breeze messing up her hair, and the bright winter sun's making her crinkle up her eyes, so you're not sure if she's smiling at our antics, or just grimacing in the light. These are the pictures I've kept of those moments we waited by that car park. I suppose we were waiting for Ruth to decide when it was time to go back for a second look. Well, she never got to make that decision because of what happened next.
Tommy, who had been mucking about on the wall with Rodney, suddenly jumped down and went still. Then he said: &quot;That's her. That's the same one.&quot;

we don't get to see her again,

We agreed to this, but as we walked towards the low wall around the small car park Ruth had indicated, Chrissie said, perhaps a little too eagerly: &quot;But even if we don't get to see her again, we're all agreed she's a possible. And it's a lovely office. It really is.&quot;
&quot;Let's just wait a few minutes,&quot; Ruth said. &quot;Then we'll go back.&quot;
I didn't sit on the wall myself because it was damp and crumbling, and because I thought someone might appear any minute and shout at us for sitting there. But Ruth did sit on it, knees on either side like she was astride a horse. And today I have these vivid images of the ten, fifteen minutes we waited there. No one's talking about the possible any more. We're pretending instead that we're just killing a bit of time, maybe at a scenic spot during a carefree day-trip. Rodney's doing a little dance to demonstrate what a good feeling there is. He gets up on the wall, balances along it then deliberately falls off. Tommy's making jokes about some passers-by, and though they're not very funny, we're all laughing. Just Ruth, in the middle, astride the wall, remains silent. She

Cottages, Ruth could take encouragement from what she'd seen

Cottages, Ruth could take encouragement from what she'd seen, and the rest of us could back her up. And the office life the woman appeared to be leading was about as close as you could hope to the one Ruth had often described for herself. Regardless of what had been going on between us that day, deep down, none of us wanted Ruth to return home despondent, and at that moment we thought we were safe. And so we would have been, I'm pretty sure, had we put an end to the matter at that point.
But then Ruth said: &quot;Let's sit over there, over on that wall. Just for a few minutes. Once they've forgotten about us, we can go and have another look.&quot;

another part of the office

We all kept on watching her, not saying a word. Then we became aware that in another part of the office, a couple of the other women had noticed us. One raised a hand and gave us an uncertain wave. This broke the spell and we took to our heels in giggly panic.
&nbsp;
WE STOPPED AGAIN FURTHER DOWN THE STREET, talking excitedly all at once. Except for Ruth, that is, who remained silent in the middle of it. It was hard to read her face at that moment: she certainly wasn't disappointed, but then she wasn't elated either. She had on a half-smile, the sort a mother might have in an ordinary family, weighing things up while the children jumped and screamed around her asking her to say, yes, they could do whatever. So there we were, all coming out with our views, and I was glad I could say honestly, along with the others, that the woman we'd seen was by no means out of the question. The truth was, we were all relieved: without quite realising it, we'd been bracing ourselves for a let-down. But now we could go back to the

glanced at Ruth and noticed her eyes

&quot;Look,&quot; Tommy said. &quot;It's their lunch break, but they don't go out. Don't blame them either.&quot;
We kept on staring, and it looked like a smart, cosy, self-contained world. I glanced at Ruth and noticed her eyes moving anxiously around the faces behind the glass.
&quot;Okay, Rod,&quot; Chrissie said. &quot;So which one's the possible?&quot;
She said this almost sarcastically, like she was sure the whole thing would turn out to be a big mistake on his part. But Rodney said quietly, with a tremor of excitement: &quot;There. Over in that corner. In the blue outfit. Her, talking now to the big red woman.&quot;
It wasn't obvious, but the longer we kept looking, the more it seemed he had something. The woman was around fifty, and had kept her figure pretty well. Her hair was darker than Ruth's--though it could have been dyed--and she had it tied back in a simple pony-tail the way Ruth usually did. She was laughing at something her friend in the red outfit was saying, and her face, especially when she was finishing her laugh with a shake of her head, had more than a hint of Ruth about it.

2011年9月19日星期一

the normal people outside

She stopped again and looked at us in a strange way. Afterwards, when we discussed it, some of us were sure she was dying for someone to ask: &quot;Why? Why is it so much worse for us?&quot; But no one did. I've often thought about that day, and I'm sure now, in the light of what happened later, that we only needed to ask and Miss Lucy would have told us all kinds of things. All it would have taken was just one more question about smoking.
So why had we stayed silent that day? I suppose it was because even at that age--we were nine or ten--we knew just enough to make us wary of that whole territory. It's hard now to remember just how much we knew by then. We certainly knew--though not in any deep sense--that we were different from our guardians, and also from the normal people outside; we perhaps even knew that a long way down the line there were donations waiting for us. But we didn't really know what that meant. If we were keen to avoid certain topics, it was probably more because it embarrassed us. We hated the way our guardians, usually so on top of everything, became so awkward whenever we came near this territory. It unnerved us to see them change like that. I think that's why we never asked that one further question, and why we punished Marge K. so cruelly for bringing it all up that day after the rounders match. l ANYWAY, THAT'S WHY I WAS SO SECRETIVE about my tape. I even turned the cover inside out so you'd only see Judy and her cigarette if you opened up the plastic case. But the reason the tape meant so much to me had nothing to do with the cigarette, or even with the way Judy Bridgewater sang--she's one of those singers from her time, cocktail-bar stuff, not the sort of thing any of us at Hailsham liked. What made the tape so special for me was this one particular song: track number three, &quot;Never Let Me Go.&quot;

that incident I mentioned before

We were sitting on the grass after a rounders match and Miss Lucy had been giving us a typical talk on smoking when Marge suddenly asked if Miss Lucy had herself ever had a cigarette. Miss Lucy went quiet for a few seconds. Then she said: &quot;I'd like to be able to say no. But to be honest, I did smoke for a little while. For about two years, when I was younger.&quot;
You can imagine what a shock this was. Before Miss Lucy's reply, we'd all been glaring at Marge, really furious she'd asked such a rude question--to us, she might as well have asked if Miss Lucy had ever attacked anyone with an axe. And for days afterwards I remember how we made Marge's life an utter misery; in fact, that incident I mentioned before, the night we held Marge's face to the dorm window to make her look at the woods, that was all part of what came afterwards. But at the time, the moment Miss Lucy said what she did, we were too confused to think any more about Marge. I think we all just stared at Miss Lucy in horror, waiting for what she'd say next.
When she did speak, Miss Lucy seemed to be weighing up each word carefully. &quot;It's not good that I smoked. It wasn't good for me so I stopped it. But what you must understand is that for you, all of you, it's much, much worse to smoke than it ever was for me.&quot;
Then she paused and went quiet. Someone said later she'd gone off into a daydream, but I was pretty sure, as was Ruth, that she was thinking hard about what to say next. Finally she said: &quot;You've been told about it. You're students. You're... special. So keeping yourselves well, keeping yourselves very healthy inside, that's much more important for each of you than it is for

cigarettes came along

cigarettes came along. Even if we were being shown a picture of a famous writer or world leader, and they happened to have a cigarette in their hand, then the whole lesson would grind to a halt. There was even a rumour that some classic books--like the Sherlock Holmes ones--weren't in our library because the main characters smoked too much, and when you came across a page torn out of an illustrated book or magazine, this was because there'd been a picture on it of someone smoking. And then there were the actual lessons where they showed us horrible pictures of what smoking did to the insides of your body. That's why it was such a shock that time Marge K. asked Miss Lucy her question.

the record sleeve

BUT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT MY TAPE, Songs After Dark by Judy Bridgewater. I suppose it was originally an LP--the recording date's 1956--but what I had was the cassette, and the cover picture was what must have been a scaled-down version of the record sleeve. Judy Bridgewater is wearing a purple satin dress, one of those off-the-shoulder ones popular in those days, and you can see her from just above the waist because she's sitting on a bar-stool. I think it's supposed to be South America, because there are palms behind her and swarthy waiters in white tuxedos. You're looking at Judy from exactly where the barman would be when he's serving her drinks. She's looking back in a friendly, not too sexy way, like she might be flirting just a tiny bit, but you're someone she knows from way back. Now the other thing about this cover is that Judy's got her elbows up on the bar and there's a cigarette burning in her hand. And it was because of this cigarette that I got so secretive about the tape, right from the moment I found it at the Sale.
I don't know how it was where you were, but at Hailsham the guardians were really strict about smoking. I'm sure they'd have preferred it if we never found out smoking even existed; but since this wasn't possible, they made sure to give us some sort of lecture each time any reference to

Besides, we never bothered to examine our Norfolk theory in any detail

This might all sound daft, but you have to remember that to us, at that stage in our lives, any place beyond Hailsham was like a fantasy land; we had only the haziest notions of the world outside and about what was and wasn't possible there. Besides, we never bothered to examine our Norfolk theory in any detail. What was important to us, as Ruth said one evening when we were sitting in that tiled room in Dover, looking out at the sunset, was that &quot;when we lost something precious, and we'd looked and looked and still couldn't find it, then we didn't have to be completely heartbroken. We still had that last bit of comfort, thinking one day, when we were grown up, and we were free to travel around the country, we could always go and find it again in Norfolk.&quot;
I'm sure Ruth was right about that. Norfolk came to be a real source of comfort for us, probably much more than we admitted at the time, and that was why we were still talking about it--albeit as a sort of joke--when we were much older. And that's why, years and years later, that day Tommy and I found another copy of that lost tape of mine in a town on the Norfolk coast, we didn't just think it pretty funny; we both felt deep down some tug, some old wish to believe again in something that was once close to our hearts.